HALO

HALO. Sounds like you are saying ‘Hello’ right? It may be right because HALO is saying ‘hello’ to the world from the top of it. Well, that can be the last time one says ‘hello’ and also the last time he says ‘good bye’ to the world if things go wrong. Yes. HALO: High Altitude and Low Opening. High Altitude of 30,000 feet and Low Opening from 4000ft above the ground. HALO can make you go hollow. 30,000 feet— 100 seconds of free fall—when I pulled the ripcord the parachute did not open…

I had always travelled in my life. Not a lot but I travel. I was fortunate to have parents who takes us, if not to the foreign countries, but at least to the other states of my own country which has lots of fascinating things to see. INCREDIBLE INDIA! Both of my parents are teachers working in the same government aided school. They arrange tour on every quarterly, half early and annual vacation for staffs and their family members. Sometimes, it is a short tour and sometimes it is long. I was just five years old when I went on a fifteen days tour for the first time in my life to Delhi, Agra and Shimla. I could not remember what I saw at Taj Mahal, Qutub minar, Red Fort, Lotus temple and I don’t even know that I was in the foot hills of Himalayas. I don’t know how a child admires nature, landscapes and architectural aesthetics. But I still remember how joyful we were as children during those fifteen days. I remember wandering from the first compartment to last compartment on Tamil Nadu expresses which takes three days to reach Delhi from my home town; how I caught the attention of a white women in Taj Mahal because of a traditional dress I was wearing and she caged my fluttering child’s wings in her camera; how reluctant I was to pose for my compelling father and made monkey faces as poses. Through out my childhood, in every vacation, we go for a tour and visited various historical places and hill stations in India. And that, as I mentioned clearly, were tours. Years later when I became a traveller I realized that travelling and touring are different. I don’t want to explain it though! Of course touring involves travel. I’m leaving it for you to ponder. I’ve toured a lot but there came a point in my life in which I needed literal travel to set me off in a right position in my metaphorical travel in which I have lost my way completely. “I shall be telling with a sigh, two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less travelled by and that made the difference”. By choosing to study literature and by aspiring to become a teacher and writer I have taken the road ‘less travelled by’. Literature had taught me about the journey of life. It had also taught about the journey in which you tread on red carpet in couple: The journey of love. I was reminded of e e cummings on the moment I saw her. “Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience”. Shifa…Shifa is her name. The word Shifa in Arabic means cure. She had been the cure for everything in my life. We set off a beautiful journey of marriage. By that time, when she was in her last trimester of her pregnancy I kept the manuscript of my first novel ready to be published. But my talisman, the prerequisite-of-my-soul-to-run, my ‘Cure’ has left me with an incurable pain in my heart with my baby too. She died in her labour. I was left alone in a dark, dungeon alley suffocating and unable to get away. That’s when I needed a literal travel to orient my position in metaphorical travel. I met Melquides, a high Bohemian. I resigned, renounced temporarily and tried to get away from the land which became strange for me without her. Living the life of Kerouac allowed me to comprehend how Wordsworth perceived the ‘Solitary Reaper’ in high land and how Arnold perceived the view of ‘Dover Beach’. I changed myself to rags and forsook all my possessions. I wandered with Melquides writing lyrics for his rhapsodies. We ate with the frugal amount gained from singing, hitch-hiked for moving, sheltered wherever we got place. What I avoided was their promiscuity because I loved and made love now no love so made no love and I avoided smoking weeds. I wonder what kind of a journey that sets you off. The whole INCREDIBLE INDIA seemed different. I understood What a person should understand after crossing through boulevards of metropolitans and cosmopolitans of India, wandering through barren sands in deserts of Rajasthan, hiking in the snowy mountains of Himalayas, burying foot in soaking swamps of Sunderbans, and walking through the dampened sands in the beaches of Arabian sea, Bay of Bengal and Indian ocean. I went with empty pockets and heavy head and came back as is if I was dissolved by drenching myself in heavy rain. But something in me was very stubborn to go away. I think I was in the last point of finding my way out of love’s labyrinth. “Enough of being Thomas Hardy, let me be Robert Browning” I thought. When I wandered in Himalayan range I met Alan Eutace. He holds the world record for sky diving from highest altitude of 135,908ft. He came there to hike Mt.Everest. He talked a lot about the ventures he did in his life apart from sky diving. He inspired me a lot. So, I thought of going for sky diving and I came here all the way to Long Island, America. One full day of instructions were given by trained and experienced sky divers. The next day, I was all set to jump. I still remember how I stood nervously at the edge of deck of back opening of the plane. 30,000 ft. I jumped gathering all my courage. I enjoyed the view of the long island during the 100 secs of free fall, for free fall is the fun part of sky diving. When I have to open the parachute, I pulled the ripcord but it did not open. I was just 4000ft and lowering and 30 seconds and counting, away from death. I closed my eyes. I saw my shifa. “Don’t worry I’m watching you” she said. When I landed I was with my Shifa. “Hello” she said. I felt like I was still falling. “what happened” I exclaimed. “Nothing Mr. I just made you cheat death” she said. The voice came from very close to my ears. I realised that I was clasped from behind by another camouflaged hands. We were both sitting on the ground. She released me. I didn’t move a bit. She got rid of the parachute and oxygen cylinder and came before me. I was still sitting on the floor like a baby who just learned how to sit. My shifa was standing before me in camouflage uniform like mine, hands on her hip and smiling. “Hey Remedy! Is he alright” shouted a man from behind. “perfectly alright” she said raising her thumb. “Remedy?!” I asked in confusion. “yes! Remedy walker” she said and put forth her hands as if to shake hands but it’s not for shaking hands but to help me stand up. I took her hands and stood up. “Remedy Walker, professional HALO jumper and trainer” she said again. It was as if my ‘Cure’ had come as a ‘Remedy’. I felt like exactly how I felt during the time of free fall. I felt very light still having the heavy camouflage cloth, oxygen cylinder and unopened parachute clutched tightly on me. I realised that I should still be in love’s labyrinth not finding my way out because it’s only difficult when you there as only person.

I easily became an American citizen (you know how). I was trained by my Remedy to become a professional HALO jumper. I have also finished my second novel which is to become my first published novel, a fictional travelogue to which this piece of meta-Story will be an autobiographic, fictional preface.

PIZZA AND PAZHAYA SORU

PIZZA AND PAZHAYA SORU

“She is my delicious Biriyani. The flavour of all her condiments in the rice is delicious but when I accidentally chew one of those condiments itself like cardamom for example, hidden in a morsel I take, it’s bitter” I remarked on my would-be wife’s characteristics, straddling with my half-trousers on, on the wall of a deep well in the middle of a paddy field. He, my cousin had his lungi folded up and straddled, facing me. Breeze messed his messy hair messier. Punching the wall, he stared at me for a while and then he turned away and smirked.

“She is my pazhaya soru and I’m her pacha molaga” He said. For a moment, I thought “how patriarchal! Does that mean that there is no flavour for her without him?”

“such a deadly combination” he added some moments later, answering my alleging thoughts.

“o come on man! Why do you have to say something so ‘country-related’ always countering me?” I asked.

“Do you know what Is grown in this field you are sitting in the middle of right now?” He belittled me “samba or kurunai? Three months crop or six months crop?” I pouted out my lower lip.

“Do you know W.H. Auden and W.B. Yeats?” I tackled him with a counter question. He gave a relegating look and remained silent.

“Both are great poets. And Auden was right about country people” I kindled him for response.

“what that bugger had to say about us?” he raised his eyebrow and jutted his tongue through his right cheek.

“In a homage poem to Yeats he metaphorized village to ignorance because they didn’t read Yeats’ genius”

“avan kadakiyan kena kooo” He said in his typical country Tamil dialect .
“My Tamil Selvi writes better” he said and sang in his high pitched voice.

The sun had set in the West
The mass has gone to rest
Even the waning moon hid his crescent
Why am I still lying feeling resent

It all started when this flower the spring had bloomed
Promised by the words of love and fooled
With the hand on my head I’ve been told
I’ll never be let down even when I’m old.

“Wow…but what’s between you and her” I inquired

“I couldn’t keep my promise” he said anxiously.

“Why” I asked

“engappan dhiyan” he shouted angrily.

“what Mama told?”

“avanga namma aalunga illa le” he replied very hesitantly.
Translation: “they don’t belong to us”. But I still can’t understand what that means!

MAD WOMAN IN THE ATTIC

MAD WOMAN IN THE ATTIC

1st December, 2018

This should have been my second nuptial night. We should be laughing, giggling and had had a wonderful time of our life. Now, I’m all alone in this dark room, turning off every decorative lamp that I meticulously bought and set up different light in different places that would create a perfect ambience for romantic actions and fierce love-making. I planned to make a chiaroscuro of your naked body by setting up a light in a place which will illuminate your full naked body half-naked because you may feel shy for the first time. How it would have been to be in the warmth of each other in this freezing December cold? I have been also longing for the warmth of love for a long time. But, It’s pitch dark now here, baby. I don’t even want to see myself. Everything is dark now: this room and my life without you; you, like the lights I scrupulously bought, not only illuminated my life but also adorned it aesthetically like the chiaroscuro I planned: illuminated my positives and darkened my flaws. The only wrong I did was concealing the truth about my first marriage. That fellow, Mr. Mason is a gull. He gulled me by getting his mad sister married to me. How I begged you not to believe that fraud. My Lolita, do you not love me as I love you so dearly. You know how ashamed I was? I was in no intention to deceive you. I really love you! Even after planning to marry you I thought I would look after my mad first wife too. You don’t know how much torments I have undergone in my life past, because of her. She could not give me what a wife should give her husband. Nevertheless, I took good care of her. Only after meeting you and fell in love with you, I forgot all my sufferings and thought of dedicating all my life to you, baby. Now, tell me baby did I cheat you? Did I cheat you???

I overheard Rochester’s ranting to his lovely Jane, his Lolita on phone through a peep hole in door of his now-dark room. Oops! I forgot to add a double quotation. So what? Why care about quotation when a big full stop is awaiting soon. That Bastard—how dare he is to call me mad? O how was that, how was that? He did not get what a husband should get from a wife? You know he fucked me to all the satisfaction of his fantasy. Fetish fucker. I, like Anastasia, succumbed to all the desire of this Bastard of a Grey. Now he is bored so goes lusting after other women like a dog. Manacle rings for me and wedding ring for her? I’ll never let that happen. He was too worried about his room being dark and cold, right? I’ll make it brighter and more warmer. And how was that? How was that? “You don’t know how much torments I have undergone in my life past, because of her”. I’ll permanently escape you from the torments of life. I’ll show who this Bertha Mason is! Bertha Mason, a specialist ARSONIST!

“My sister really had a psychological condition” confessed Mr. Mason, Bertha’s Brother as I sat near his death bed and read the above paras in Bertha Mason’s diary. “This entry is the last one she wrote before she burned Rochester and herself that night I stopped your marriage” he said and died. With Bertha’s diary in my hand in the gloomy room of Mr. Mason I’m sitting alone overwhelmed with tears. My poor Rochester!