CARPE DIEM?

The sultry weather outside polluted the air hot. Nevertheless, the gentle breeze came into the classroom caressing the dense Neem tree, was chill as the ordinary, unnecessary-to-human carbon-di-oxide from the mouth turns to mesmerizing melody when blown into a flute. It came with a thousand muses to bloom the mad bud that was listening to mad interpretations of poem into mysterious flower of fiction; it came with a thousand psychedelics to drug me into wild hallucinations— wilder than that comes off Coleridge’s opium; to set me off to the weirdest of the journeys. The sound of the breeze hitting my ears sounded to me like it was whispering slowly:Bon Bloody Voyage!

***

As we drove through the bridge, across a river in the evening, the roads with the dimly lit street lights looked strange. The twilight in the sky seemed as if the dyes in the sky are worn out like somebody sucked the syrup alone from the ice candy lollypop. Holding the steering I jolted the lever underneath it with my middle finger for that’s my style and the high beam light flashed on the board on the half-way of the bridge and the dull reflection from it revealed “WELCOME TO someSHIRE”. The faded reflection from the first four letters of the last word was inconspicuously sombre to make it illegible. As the proximity between us and the board kept increasing we felt the pace of our vehicle decreasing despite of the fact that my speedometer showed 100km/h constantly. We crossed the entrance and abruptly the pace decreased but still the speedometer showed 100kmph. No vehicle accompanied us inside the city, but once we entered the city we saw the vehicles of the city moving like a limped tortoise. It was dim all around but not absolutely gloomy: The LED lights in the name boards of restaurants, shopping malls, grocery stores, the traffic sign boards. There was a tram going statically across the road that blocked my way and I waited approximately for I-don’t-know-how-long minutes. I was frustrated with the speed of my car and accelerated to 180kmph but still it was moving sluggishly. During this monotonous, five kilometer ride multifarious thoughts tumulted in my head. It’s oblivious about others but I tend to roll a lot if I am let alone for even a minute. So I was not amazed to have those thoughts rumbling inside that too while driving in this city albeit having my wife with me. Is it abnormal to be so?; If you think it is, remember that the great magnum opus of Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude sprouted in his head when he was driving his family to a picnic and as the thought relentlessly proliferated in his head he abruptly took a ‘U’ turn to his home. But whatever hell of a master-piece-creating idea had to arouse in my mind “there was no getting away from” that particular place for whatsoever reason. I think now I’m being monotonous. I myself could feel that but I cannot figure out why. Let me get right to the point. I was talking about the multifarious thoughts in my mind right? Actually, I was about to talk of one particular visualisation from those melange of mind videos, that is the visualisation of butchering a goat: usually a beheaded goat whose fractured hind legs are tied to a rope from clamp in the ceiling and make it hang by its headless head-side facing the floor. That’s how it is all over the world even if it is not like that all over the world, that’s how it is, to my knowledge and as far as I have seen. That Was the first image I got then I saw a butcherer drawing the small intestine of the goat like Dushashan draws the Saree of Panchaali in Mahabaratha. Again I’m still unaware of the reason for such evocations.

After a tedious 5 kilometers drive we reached the hotel in which we were going to stay. Until we got down from the car it did not occur for us to check if our actions are normal so as soon as we got down from the vehicle I punched and kicked the air like a kick-boxer rehearsing punches and kicks before entering the ring and by performing such movements, to our amazement we found that our actions are perfectly fine and normal. The transparent glass-slide door works with a sensor through which the drabby lobby is visible, opened inch by inch like a giant, ancient, mechanical door as we went near it, made us doubt that the door will be left ajar owing to mechanical problems despite noticing it moving an inch with regular interval of I-swear-I-don’t-know-how-long. It was rich in its architecture. The first thing that caught our eyes was the fountain in the middle of the lobby: it was modernly well-constructed. The water that jet out from the fountain stayed in the air for sometimes and fell down slowly. On the right side we saw a long reception table and on the left we had sofas and bean bags. On the wall we found interesting portraits and pictures in frames. They were all modernistic and surrealistic. One frame had these words on it: Carpe That Fucking Diem. My wife turned to me throwing her hands in the air and blinking at me. I shrugged at her, smiling. I turned my gaze towards the ceiling. ‘What is that hanging at the middle of the lobby?’ I thought and asked another question to myself: ‘is it Miss. Havisham’s wedding gown?’ No that was a chandelier. There was a huge clock hanging in a rod from the ceiling. It had ‘n’ numbers in it that I could not read the time in it. Only then I realized that I forgot about the watch I was wearing. I looked at my watch I thought momentarily it was not working. But after few minutes I saw the seconds’ needle moved some strokes. Rich granites laid on the floor in black and grey combination like a chess board. We approached the reception and said
“excuse me”
“yeeesss siiirrr, hhooowww maaayyy iiii helllpp yoouuu” the womam replied.
She was wearing a white blouse and black blazer and a black short skirt and full in makeup. But what’s so strange is there are dark circles under her eyes. But only later that I realized that not only her but everybody there had dark circles under their eyes like an insomniac patient who did not sleep for years. They always have their lower lips jutted out because of their tongue pushing it from inside and resting behind it which makes them look like a zombie.
“We are here for our honey moon” I said and smiled
“caann yoouu jussst pleaaassee coommee agaaiinn siiirr. Iiiii caaann’tt unnnderrrsstaaand. Yooouu aaaree tooooo quuuiiick”
“ufff” I sighed and I repeated as if I had understood the way how to converse with them. “weee aaarree heereee ffooorrr hooonneeyyy moooooonnnn”
“ooohhh thaaattsss grreaaatttt sssiirrr, maaayy iiii knnnoooww wheeerrree aaarrree yoouu frroomm” she had her lips extended until she finished that sentence which I suppose that she was uttering those words with a smile but it didn’t seem to like that. It was rather terrifying.
“Iiiii aaammmm ffrrooomm eaarrthh” I said and thought for a second: first of all why am I even talking like this. Secondly, why I even said I’m from earth. This isn’t earth?
“Why did you even said that? This isn’t earth?” my wife asked coinciding with my thought.
“I don’t know” I said
“are we in somebody’s hallucination?” she shouted at me angrily
“I don’t know” I insisted again. She let out a sigh of frustration shaking her head.
“Sssiiiirrr?” The receptionist called
“Yyyeeaahh” I replied
“Azzu this is awkward” she persisted
“shh” I said and smiled at the receptionist.
“caaannn yyoouuu filllll uupp yooouuurr deeettaaiiillsss in thiisss reeggiiiissssteerrr”
“ssuurree” I said and started writing.
I don’t know what happened to my writing hand. When I received the pen in my hand it felt like a quill but as soon as a started writing I felt like I’m having a pen that weighs a ton. I don’t know how long it took me to write my address in the register but sure that it was not the time I usually take to write such small thing. It was way longer than that. What I managed to write was this:

Azzu,
earth,
universe.

The woman took the key from the hanger behind and asked us to follow to the room. It was in the third floor. She went near the elevator to press the button.
“let uuusss ttaaakee theee steepppss” I insisted
“theee elleevaattoor wooullldd beee muuuchhh quuiickeerr sssiirr”
Again me and my wife exchanged a look and followed her to the elevator.
“siiirr weee haaavee commm tooo thiiirrddd fllooorr”

The receptionist shook us both. We literally slumbered on each other within the time the elevator reached the third floor. We walked through the gloomy veranda following the sluggish receptionist. We stopped her half way and got the key from her and told her that we would see to it. She was about to say something but we shut her off and sent her back. We were greatly relieved. We went inside the room, leapt on the bed, spread our arms and legs apart and relaxed. I asked my wife to switch on the fan. Nothing curious would have happened. You guys know it. We sat close to each other with our eyes smiling at the other ones’. Both of my hands went behind to remove the clips and locks of her hair to let it hang lose and to grab it by letting small bunches of hair between each fingers. She closed her eyes as I moved my head towards her. My heaped lips gave a gentle touch on her closed but still-smiling eyes. Removing my lips from her eyelid I tilted my head slightly for nothing could turn me on than rubbing the edge of my lips and cheek part near the edge of my lips in the longest and sharpest of her eyelashes. To turn her on, I started kissing her cheeks. I smudged my lips all over her face painting it with saliva. From the face I drove to the shoulder via nape of the neck and from shoulder to cheeks via the same road. She remained still when I kissed her face but I felt the quiver of her body and short, heavy breath puffed out of her mouth while crossing the path between the neck and the shoulder. She smiled like a child smiles in its sleep. She allowed everything without resisting until I went for her lips. She pretended to loathe. She kept pulling herself backwards as I pushed myself forward and she eventually she lied down. Are you such a voyeur that you still need to peep into my bedroom? If you are a voyeur, nowadays you don’t have to peep into others’ windows. You just have to peep into Windows. Anyway, if you are so curious – we made it like how Fermina Daza and Dr. Juvenal Urbino made it on their way to Paris. We did not stop with the first round. We went for the second round, third round and fourth round….and I was exhausted before the tenth round. But she seemed to want more – it seemed like she would be ready for hundred and one after hundred. But even she after some minutes felt bored. I remembered the romantic night I spent with her, without even touching each other before our marriage in her house while she was left alone. She was informed by her parents that they would return early in the next morning. I had to leave her before the dawn. That’s when I wrote my first song of Aubade.

O night!
Why are you not the don of dawn?
O Dark!
Why are you not the don of light?
O Earth!
Why do you revolve when the sun stands still?
O Hope!
Are you the metaphor of light?
O Light!
On your arrival is there any hope of being with my love?
O love!
Do you succumb to all these conspiracy?
O farewell!
You think you part us?
We say heartlessly:
Fare thee well
But in each others’ heart we dwell.

But neither Andrew Marvell nor any other poets would have written To his Coy Mistress or songs alba if they had been to this place. They would have rather wrote:

Being greedy for more time
Is the biggest of all my crime
When I got it as per my demand
I went actually mad
O how long shall I patiently praise
Your eyes, your breast, your forehead gaze
For every five seconds my dick
Goes on to give a kick
O my gosh my penis
Is no longer now a phallus
Any women does not deserve this state
Five minutes will be more than great
To make love, you need worldly eternity?
That would be the height of insanity.

We waited, waited, waited and waited at last we saw the hope of morning twilight. I could sense a heaviness on my head. When I saw myself in the mirror it seemed like my hair and beard had grown longer by 4 inches and my finger nails had grown longer by 11 millimeters. The time it took from dawn to the morning—we were also amused to see that we have developed dark circles under our eyes. But neither of us cared to react. I remembered a couplet from a doggerel that I wrote: Nocturnal creatures are owls/ Nocturnals like owls at night think about doing fowls. I wondered why it came to my mind at that time. We locked our room to walk down and have breakfast though we did not feel hungry. The sun is out but streets were unusually bright: as if thick layers of mist covers our sight from looking at things but no mist out there. We walked through the half-hazy visibly-invisible mist. “Heeeyy yyoouu sssttoopp theerrree” said a formidable voice. The man was dressed full in black, tucked his shirt in, wearing a leather boots. The only other colour in his whole dress is the buckle of his belt that was in silver colour. The badge in his left arm stiched to the shirt in the shape of a shield as a Lamborghini logo had these letters on it written in golden colour: S.S.P.D. He had pistol in a black pouch hanging in black waist belt on his right hand side and on the left, was a baton. It seemed that the officer was watching us from the place he stood when we in yonder distance but we did not notice. As we Crossed him he turned his head slowly and stopped us. “yes officer” I answered him and went near. The officer clutched my hand tightly: it took some time for him from starting to clutch my hand and gripping very tightly. Nevertheless, I could not loosen his grip even when he started to grip my hand. Then he took a handcuffs and cuffed my hand and Sara’s hand. “yooouuu aaarree unndderrr arressstt”

***

Attender Anand came into the classroom with a slip in his hand and handed it over to the professor. The professor, after seeing it announced “As two of your professors who should engage the next two hours are absent I will continue to engage the hours”. The energy of my muse doubled. Another heavy puff of wind came to hit me…

***

Behind the bars I was standing like a werewolf. I found myself consoling my wife who with one hand on her swollen belly and other hand on her back complained of fatigue. Suddenly my wife started yelping.
“Officer….Officer” I shouted, shaking the iron gate.
“ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…donnntt yyoouuu knooowwww whyyyyyyy aaaarrreeee yyyooouuu hheerreee?”
“ooofffiiiccceeerrr” I reduced my voice
“thaaaaatttsss gooooooooddd” the officer smirked “nooowwww ttteellllll mmmeeeeee”.
“Mmmyyy wwiiifffeee iiisss ooonnn hhheeerrr
Llllllaabbbooouuurrrr”
My wife started shouting and it sounded like it was it recorded and played 0.5x slower in a media player.
“llleettt mmmeee ccaaalll ttthhheee aaammmbbbuuulllaaannnccceee.
I was confused. He could have taken us to the hospital on police vehicle. But neither ambulance nor police vehicle could help because —
“ooofffiiicccer, pppllleeeaaassseee ooopppeeennn ttthhheee gggaaattteee. Iiii wwwiiilll cccaaarrryyy mmmyyy wwwiiifffeee tttooo ttthhheee hhhooosssspppiiitttaaalll tttooo aaavvvoooiiiddd mmmiiissscccaaarrryyy”. I pleaded
“yyyooouuu aaarrree cccaaapppaaabbblllee ooofff aaa nnniiicccee pppoooeeetttiiiccc Lllaaannggguuuaaaggee” the officer laughed “Nnneeevvveeerrrttthhheeellleeesss, yyyooouuu wwwiilll oonnnlllyy bbeee llleettt oouuuttt wwwhhheennn ttthhheee aaammmbbbuuulllaaannnce cccoommmee” the officer continued to laugh.
“Fuck you, officer” I shouted.
“wwwhhhaaattt?” the officer asked.
“nnnooottthhhinnnggg ooofffiiiccceeerrr. Pppllleeeaaassseee ooopppeeennn ttthhheee gggaaattteee”
When I was arguing with the officer my wife who was shouting like a slowed down recorded voice started shouting normally. The intensity of her sound kept increasing. As I turned back at the one last big yelp I saw squirts of water mixed with blood and mucus like substance travelling in the air in slow motion towards my face. I waited until it came close to my face and I moved a bit left side turning head right side. It crossed my face just missing it and went out of the cell between iron bars and splattered on the officer’s face. She had given birth to a beautiful Little Sarah. But that happiness lasted – I heard my daughter crying like my wife pretended to shout few minutes ago and she was kicking her legs slower than the slowest of baby-kicks.

***

The bell rang after three continuous sessions. Why did not the bell ring at the end of first and second session? Who cares. The professor was at the verge of completing the poem: “…and that’s how the poem comes to an end. The problem with the poem is that it has lots of grammatical mistakes. In particular there are lots of syntax error in sentences”. I would have rather been in the cell of SLOWSHIRE POLICE STATION